I understand that I make some of you mad

  • Nov. 7th, 2009 at 4:48 PM
I am not coping well with my life right now, and I am looking for support. I understand that many of you were upset with my use of the -N- word, here's something interesting. I'm gonna try to meditate, though I think I'm sick with worms...

anyway, enjoy these enlightening movies, I learned a lot, let me know what you learn!
:D
I hope this is enlightening
watchohs )

Also How to Get Banned from Nobu.

  • Nov. 7th, 2009 at 9:00 AM

Girlfriend: Learn anything new today?
Boyfriend: How to say "sexual offender" in Japanese!

--Central Park

Overheard by: lynn


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-07

Cute Asian girl: I feel like I'm in high school again, except the person I'm dating is female and a really good kisser, and the guy I'm plotting to seduce is my professor. What's wrong with my life?
Friend: I think you need to either learn to live without penis, or realize that kissing men isn't scary.
Cute Asian girl: Kissing women is scary too! But I happen to really enjoy kissing Christina.
Friend: Okay, so if you want to do your professor so badly, don't you think he might be a good kisser too?
Cute Asian girl: There are so many things you can do with a guy that don't involve kissing...
Friend: Again... Get over penis or start kissing men!
Cute Asian girl: It isn't that simple!

--Uptown 2 Train


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-07

Bag lady to white guy whistling "When the Saints Go Marching In": Damn, nigger, that's my jam!
Guy: I'm... Ummm... sorry?
Bag lady: Yeah? Fuck you too!
(guy and girl walk away)
Bag lady
: Shit, I gotta get outta this town and get my own place!


--L Train

Overheard by: The Music Man


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-07

Canadia: Dammit...!

  • Nov. 7th, 2009 at 12:00 AM

Teenage girl #1: And she was trying to convince me that Florida is north of New York!
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, some people are so stupid! North of us is like... Delaware!

--Hudson & Gansevoort

Overheard by: Laura


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-07

I Checked Her Birth Certificate

  • Nov. 6th, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Hispanic teenage girl #1: I don't know about that girl. She just don't fit in with our group.
Hispanic teenage girl #2: Yeah, she think she ghetto fabulous, but she just ghetto.

--Brooklyn


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

China... is so out of touch

  • Nov. 6th, 2009 at 7:40 PM
The Chinese government actually believes that it is going to be allowed to choose the next Dalai Lama, by finding and promoting his reincarnation. You have got to be kidding me. Any Tibetan Buddhist (or Buddhist otherwise) with more than eleven brain cells would never accept that.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091106/ap_on_re_as/as_india_china

Has China never considered... the utter asinine transparency of declaring themselves Atheist, being violently oppressive to many, and thinking that others will trust them to make religious decisions for a religion they've excoriated and persecuted for decades?

Walk of shame girl #1: He said I was the best 20-minute decision he ever made.
Walk of shame girl #2: Oh my god, really??
Walk of shame girl #1: Yeah, more like 5 minutes.

--89th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Just Out For Coffee


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06
This story starts a while ago. Also, it's not so much a story anymore as it is a complete whiny bitchfest. Sorry!

David has an older brother. He is 48 and he is an idiot. After getting a divorce in January of 2008, he decided to go to South Korea and teach English. Great, gtfo kthnxbai was the general reaction. Fast forward to September of this year, when his idiocy caused some bullshit, and he decided to have an affair with the mother of one of his students. To his complete shock, he was found out and S. Korea basically said to get out.

So he calls David, who is the mature, responsible one, and bends his ear about how woeful and sad it is he has no place to go (didn't save any of his money, see), no job to come back to (because he has no skill sets of note to offer), he wishes the ex-wife would move out of their old place so he could move back here (because Monmouth Street is the ONLY place in America he can live at. There is actually an exception to this rule, but that comes a bit later), and that he feels like he's lost himself after not speaking English in so long (it's South Korea, what the fuck did you think they were going to speak there?)

So David, probably knowing deep in his heart he was going to regret this decision, caves in to Philip's not-very-discreet hints, and offers to let him stay here for 2 weeks when he comes back. Of course I was screaming the background because we all knew where this was going to go.

Well, he's been here since Halloween night, and the crap has just been building up. Here are some starters from the journal we're keeping, lovingly named the Book of the Damned, Week One )

*screams*

Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!

--The Diner Restaurant, Midtown


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

Why Topless Tutoring Exists

  • Nov. 6th, 2009 at 12:00 PM

Eight-year-old ghetto kid: Mama, give me your cell phone! I gotta call my girlfriend.
Mother: What you gonna talk to her about? How you can't read and write? Tell her to help you with that!

--Harlem

Overheard by: Joe


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

New Layout!

  • Nov. 6th, 2009 at 9:21 AM
Hell yes. New layout!

Samuel is so badass! :3

Six-year-old boy to two undercover NYPD officers: Hi, what's your name?
Six-year-old boy's mom: Hey, boy, what did I tell you about speaking to strangers?
NYPD undercover officer: It's okay, we're cops. (flashes badge)
Six-year-old boy: Aahhhhhhhhh! (runs into mother's arms)

--E Train

Overheard by: Rob G


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

You May Now Hakuna Matata

  • Nov. 6th, 2009 at 6:00 AM

Hipster #1: So you're like Simba in The Lion King. Except you're lazy... and drunk.
Hipster #2: Exactly!

--Hunter College

Overheard by: Lucia C


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

Guy #1: I told him you don't ask a woman for a cigarette, you just don't do it.
Guy #2: Yeah... Word.
Guy #1: But he didn't listen. Next thing you know he's getting pistol whipped and my car is being towed away.

--1 Train


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

Nov. 6th, 2009

  • 12:48 AM
One thing I will tell my sister soon:

When I learned about white privilege, and I how I don't have it, I also learned about the various privileges I do have, such as being heterosexual, coming from the middle class, being physically and mentally able, going to an ivy league university, having parents who support me, etc. The intersection of privilege and oppression is infinite.

My sister doesn't understand what "privilege" is. At some point I'm going to have this conversation with her.

Upper West Side wife #1: He thinks I can operate this household on $25,000 a month--that bastard better get a better job.
Upper West Side wife #2: Yeah, really, he needs to get his shit together.

--83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Mike


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

CHARLES TWEETS:

  • Nov. 5th, 2009 at 10:04 PM
Accept your hindrances and overcome them.

Profile

r.patz
[info]hardlyfatal
Piffle, yes, but superior piffle.
Crazy Diamond

Advertisement

Latest Month

August 2005
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Links

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow