Four-year-old girl #1, waving barbie doll: Sex!
Four-year-old girl #2: Sex!
Both girls, happily: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

--G Train

Overheard by: Sunny


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Totally Worth the Bad Breath

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 3:00 AM

Big Guido: Yeah, and now he's going to recycle his urine!
Small squirmy dude: Woah, cool! He's gonna make a ton of money.

--9th Ave & 45th


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Girl #1, sarcastically: I've never seen a penis before in my life.
Girl #2: Ha!
Girl #1: Well, you don't need to see a penis to sit on it.

--Fat Cat, West Village

Overheard by: BettyBoop


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And Moonwalking Inadvertantly.

  • Dec. 10th, 2009 at 9:00 PM

Guy #1: You squattin?
Guy #2: Nah, just listening to Michael Jackson.

--Harlem New York Sports Club

Overheard by: Obvious Misunderstanding


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Bash.org QDB - 908942

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<@parasyte> I went straight on to my room, where I expected my nice, big bed. So I opened the door...
<@parasyte> ...and saw my sister riding her fat friend
<@parasyte> My first thought was: "wow, she got tits yet " My second on was: "Wow, he got 'em too"

Bash.org QDB - 908573

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<Rainman> god, my head is killing me, must be the maths classes
<Darkduck> you should drink up an aspirine with some vodka and smoke some weed
<Darkduck> that'll definetly take care of it ;)
<Rainman> dude I'm still at school
<Rainman> where the fuck would I get any aspirine ? :o)

Bash.org QDB - 908184

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<Twig> I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

Bash.org QDB - 907600

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<+ekolis> I remember the IT support guy at school gave this HUGE presentation about laptop batteries
<+ekolis> and how you should not even THINK about using your laptop for a presentation until you make sure the batteries are ok
<+ekolis> because if it blows up and damages all the fancy new projectors...
<+ekolis> then your parents will not be happy
<+ekolis> not just a dead kid, but a huge projector bill too

Bash.org QDB - 907021

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<Jesus> a black baby died and went to heaven
<Jesus> and god looked at him and said, "you've earned your wings"
<Jesus> and gave the black baby wings
<Jesus> the black baby look up and said, "am i really an angel now"
<Jesus> and God looked down and said,
<Jesus> "HELL NAW, NIGGA, YOU A BAT"

Bash.org QDB - 907014

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
Sherri: A man comes home and shouts "Honey! Pack your bags! I just hit the lottery!"
Sherri: She screams "OMG! What should I pack?"
Sherri: He says, "Everything! Get the f*** out!"

Bash.org QDB - 906902

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
Alex: A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
Alex: The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

Bash.org QDB - 906256

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<popemichael> I was in line to buy a new DVD player. The woman in front of me was having something delivered.
<popemichael> The clerk asked for her 'street name' she replied "I don't have one I go by Shanice."

Bash.org QDB - 905920

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<+Djiem> There, I'm troll-baiting my whole MSN friendlist
<+Djiem> "Oh shit, know what's happening December 2012 ?!?!"
<+Djiem> And if anyone asks me what, I'll say "I turn 30"

Bash.org QDB - 905885

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<+Dr_Link> SSL certificate: $30.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Dell mainframe server: $1.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Discount cupon: -$80,000.
<+Dr_Link> Getting hacked by a POST injection: Priceless.

Bash.org QDB - 905874

  • Dec. 11th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
<Phyxius> Hmm there are some black people hanging around outside the gates at the end of my driveway, brb
<Courtney> mkay hb
<Phyxius> HOLY SHIT THEYRE GONE
<Courtney> The black people?
<Phyxius> NO, MY GATES

Teenage boy #1: I saw you with Shanequa yesterday.
Teenage boy #2: No, that was Tamequa.
Teenage boy #3: Man... If I meet another -equa I'm gonna kill somebody.

--Brooklyn

Overheard by: Zetspat


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-12-10

Dec. 10th, 2009

  • 4:02 PM
I really love this article on Racialicious: Why is it so important to have productive conversations on race

It articulate a lot of thoughts and feelings I've had about conversations on race I've had in my life. The situations that Latoya Peterson outlines? I've been in all of them, both the positive and the negative. With the negative in particular, they always bothered me, but I was never able to properly articulate why they did and why I felt like they were taking a step back, when the people I was talking to thought it was a step forward. So yay. Good reading.

Tags:

Big black woman, on Halloween: Who are you supposed to be, The Mad Hatter?
Guy: I'm Willy Wonka. Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka from the seventies.
Big black woman: Oh, I never would have known. You know, what you need is an accessory, a prop.
Guy: Like what? I look just like him!
Big black woman: You need a chocolate woman on your arm.

--Jack Dempsey's Pub


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down |
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Piffle, yes, but superior piffle.
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