Piffle, yes, but superior piffle. (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} hardlyfatal) wrote,@ 2005-07-05 23:34:00 |
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| Current mood: |  anxious |
| Current music: | Robert Plant - Shine It All Around |
| Entry tags: | blue heaven, fic, fruits basket |
Blue Heaven, chapter 2
Nope, still not betaed. If it sucks, don't tell me until Thursday.
Chapter 1 was here.
“Today,” announced Mr. Kurosaki, “we’re going to assign everyone a life-altering discovery, and then each couple is going to role-play how you deal with the issue.”
It was a month later, and so far Family Life had actually been kind of… fun. Tohru had swiftly learned that Kyou was far more pleasant to be around if they completed their assignments without anyone watching. At her request, Hana invited Uo and Yuki to do their homework at her house on a weekly basis, leaving only Shigure for Tohru and Kyou to deal with at home.
The first week they’d created a budget together, and the second, worked out which of the household chores would be done by whom. The third week had consisted of the two of them deciding if they could afford for Tohru to attend college part-time (the answer was yes, if they were careful with their money).
The fourth week, they had to deal with annoying neighbours. Since they lived with Shigure, that wasn’t much of a stretch. It was decided that Tohru would be the one to handle issues of diplomacy, with Kyou standing sentinel to make sure she wasn’t taken advantage of.
That was the first time they had role-played in the situation, Mr. Kurosaki portraying the part of the obnoxious neighbour with unseemly glee. They had done so well that he’d given them an A for that week.
In general, they were well-matched, strong where the other was weak, and so went forward into week five of Family Life without many misgivings. That all changed when Mr. Kurosaki announced that week’s assignment. He went around the room with a basket in his hands filled with slips of paper.
“Each couple will have a different problem to face and overcome,” he announced. “And this issue will be a long-term one, something you will have to incorporate into future weeks.” Something about the way he said it was ominous and Tohru made a quick wish that theirs wouldn’t be something too hideously awful.
The basket was thrust under their noses. “Your turn,” Mr. Kurosaki said, smiling down at them.
Kyou reached into it, only to have his hand smacked away.
“Ladies first!” the teacher sang, reminding them both rather strongly of Ayame. Kyou jerked back and Tohru hesitantly put her hand in the basket, as if afraid something in it would bite her.
She was able to withdraw a slip of paper without incident, however, and unfolded it. Her eyes flicked over what was written; immediately, she turned tomato-red.
“Oh,” she murmured, folding it back up with precise care.
“What is it?” he asked, curious. “What does it say happens to us this week?
She (somehow) blushed even harder and stared fixedly at her hands, mumbling something so quietly that even his keen hearing couldn’t pick it up. Sighing, he placed his hands on either side of her face and gently forced her to look at him.
“Tell me,” he insisted. “C’mon, how bad could it be?”
“I’m, er,” she began, lips trembling (in a particularly beguiling way to Kyou’s way of thinking). “I’m pregnant!” she blurted out suddenly.
The words didn’t compute in his head right away. At first, all he heard was the startled laughter of the others around them (Tohru had been rather loud). Then the words penetrated and he found himself struggling to draw air into his lungs, his hands dropping from Tohru’s head to hang limply by his sides. For her to be “pregnant”, they’d have had to—
“I’m sorry,” he gasped, the only thing he could say as the implications of it thudded into him. Now it was his turn to do a tomato impression; he went bright-red in two seconds flat.
But Tohru wasn’t looking very sorry; her embarrassment (and her colour) had started to fade and she was beginning to get excited.
“Hana! Uo!” she cried, “We’re going to have a baby!” The girls blinked, then grinned at her. "Oh, I love babies,” she said, turning back to Kyou. “This is wonderful! And here I was afraid we’d get something bad!”
Kyou still hadn’t spoken since his shocked apology, and Tohru’s happiness dimmed as she studied his face.
“Aren’t you—you’re not happy about this, are you,” she said dully, and stared down at where she twisted her fingers together. “Is it because you think I’d be a bad mother? Because I probably would be, the way I’m so clumsy all the time and always falling over but I’d try my best and—“
“No!” Kyou interrupted. “I was just—just surprised, is all. I never thought about being a father before, and then, you know, getting pregnant…” He looked away, staring determinedly out the window. “I was just surprised.”
Tohru had finally picked up on the more subtle aspects of what it meant to have a baby and soon her face matched his in embarrassment. “Let’s not think about that part,” she exclaimed, voice a bit shrill.
“I’m a boy,” Kyou snapped before he could help it. “It’s all I ever think about.”
Shocked, Tohru spun in her seat to face away from him. Is that true? she wondered. Boys only think about… that? Kyou always thinks about that? Does he think about it with me? Oh, Mom, I’m going to catch on fire, I’m blushing so hard… safe thoughts. I need to think safe thoughts…
She cast about desperately for a less dangerous topic of conversation and pounced on the first that popped into her mind with immense relief.
“You never thought about having children before?” she managed after a while, spinning back to face him. When he shook his head, she said, “I think Kyou-kun would be a wonderful father.”
He glanced at her quickly, then gave a short bark of laughter. It sounded harsh and bitter, not amused at all, and Tohru’s heart began that familiar ache she felt whenever she thought about how badly he’d been treated. “What, with my temper? And the way the rest of the family acts toward me? And… with what they want to do to me after I graduate?”
This last was said softly, for her ears only.
“No, I’d be a lousy father,” Kyou concluded, looking out the window once again. He clenched his hands into fists as a sense of loss for something he’d never known he wanted coursed through him.
Then her hands touched his, fingers prying his fists loose and folding around, twining with his own. “Kyou-kun would be a wonderful father,” Tohru repeated, very firmly, and nodded with great determination. “Just like he’s a wonderful friend and—and a wonderful husband.”
She was back to blushing furiously, but this time didn’t drop her eyes or fiddle with her skirt hem.
A wave of emotion rippled through Kyou. “How do you know that?” he demanded, voice a little rough.
She beamed up at him, squeezing his hands. “Mom always said that you can tell how a man is going to be with his kids by the way he acts with animals, and you’re very good to animals. And to me, and to Kasuma-sensei, and—“
“I’m horrible with anyone else, though,” he interrupted.
She only smiled wider. “But you’re great with people you love, and you’d love our baby very much, wouldn’t you? So it doesn’t matter if you’re not too nice to other people, as long as you’re good to the ones you love.”
Speechless, he could only stare down at her for the longest time. “You—“ he stopped, licked his lips nervously. “You’d be a good mother,” he said at last. “Really good. Your kid would be the luckiest kid ever.”
Her lips parted in pleased surprise, and she squeezed his hands again while bouncing happily. He gazed down at her, drinking in her wide blue eyes and upturned face until he felt he was brimming over with… something, some unnamed but powerful thing.
“Excellent!” proclaimed Mr. Kurosaki, appearing beside them. “We all have doubts as to how qualified we are to handle things like this, but as a married couple you have to support and encourage each other! An excellent role-play in how to deal with the sudden news of impending parenthood, don’t you all agree?”
He turned to gesture at their classmates, all of whom, they now realized, had watched them throughout the entire thing. Politely, they all began to clap their hands.
Hana watched them with satisfaction in her fathomless eyes; Yuki and Uo both appeared to be rather dumbfounded, and joined in the applause a moment after everyone else.
Kyou and Tohru immediately turned scarlet and leapt away from each other.
“So,” Mr. Kurosaki said, returning to the front of the room and motioning for them to take their seats, “as we can see, the major life disruption Mr. And Mrs. Sohma have to face is an unplanned pregnancy.” He grinned at their renewed blushing when he addressed them that way. “Let’s discuss how the rest of you did. The other Mr. And Mrs. Sohma—what catastrophe will you be enduring?”
Uo stood and answered for them. “I’ve contracted a serious illness and have had to be hospitalized.” At Tohru’s gasp of dismay, she flashed her friend a jaunty grin. “My ever-loving husband was more upset than I was at first, but I’ve calmed him down.” She paused for effect. “The sedatives help.” Her classmates tittered, and she sat.
It had been pretty funny, actually; when she’d unfolded the slip of paper revealing that—surprise!—she now had meningitis, the prince’s reaction had been quite dramatic. He’d paled, and stretched his hand across the desk to take hers.
“That’s horrible,” he’d said in his calm voice. “I’m so sorry.”
It had irritated her at first, how he was always so placid. Boring, she’d thought when she’d first come to know him through Tohru. Plus, with all those fangirls after him, she’d been sure he was stuck-up and arrogant. But he really wasn’t, and got along with everyone except that stupid cousin of his. Most importantly, he was good to Tohru, so Uo figured she’d let him live.
And now, after spending considerably more time with him in the past weeks, she’d come to find that voice of his soothing. Her nerves were always jangling all over the place so much that it was nice to feel them smooth out at the sound of him speaking. She also liked to see how seriously he was taking this pretend marriage thing.
If he approached a real relationship with half as much care and caution, Uo thought, he’d be a dream to be married to.
So far, his unfailing courtesy and kindness had made for a completely satisfactory joint project, much to her relief. If she’d had to pair up with Carrot-Top over there, she was 98% sure there’d have been bloodshed. And perhaps lengthy jail terms.
And so Uo had laughed, aware how it drew the attention of his fans, and patted his hand over hers with her other, free one. She flashed the now-glaring, furious fans a smirk before turning back to the prince.
“It’s not that big a deal,” she reminded him. “Only pretend, remember? And besides, special doctors cost. We’ve got that budget to remember. Regular ones are fine for me.”
Yuki-san’s spine seemed to snap to attention, his hand falling away from hers to his lap as his brows knit in consternation.
“Of course not,” he had replied, a note of steel in his voice. ”The Sohmas are very wealthy, and always given the best of care.” Then he bowed slightly. “It is my honour to provide the best of everything for you, Uotani-san.”
She blinked. “Well, damn!” she said with a laugh after a moment. “Cute, nice and rich! I might have to marry you for real!”
He had blushed faintly, looking away, and then Tohru had distracted them by shouting for all the world to hear of her impending bundle of joy.
And now the prince was rising to contribute toward their grade. “At first, Uotani-san didn’t want to take advantage of all the resources available to her as my wife, preferring to stay on-budget,” he said, “but I convinced her that her health was more important. So I think we’ve successfully navigated a potential disagreement as well, and made a reasoned decision concerning our expenses.”
Mr. Kurosaki blinked, assimilating all of those 50-yen words, and then nodded. “Good job. ‘A’ for you two this week.”
“Wow,” Uo whispered to the prince as they sat again, “you even manage to make something romantic sound like an accountant report. That takes skill.”
“I can be romantic, in the right time and place, Uotani-san.” He didn’t look at her as he said it, his gaze fixed on the teacher who was discussing the week’s issue with another couple, but there was an odd note in his voice that inexplicably had Uo’s cheeks pinking up.
“Yeah, right,” she grunted. When all else fails, get belligerent was her motto, after all.
“You’re skeptical.” One side of his mouth curled. “I’ll just have to prove it to you one day.”
Eyes wide, Uo was cut off from answering because it was Hana’s turn to report her own personal disaster.
“My house caught on fire,” she said, giving a tiny smile of reassurance at Tohru’s gasp. (“Oh, no! Not Hana-chan!”) “I lost everything.”
“I see,” said Mr. Kurosaki, pausing a moment before continuing with a sort of resignation, as if afraid to probe further. “And how have you handled it?”
“I had a nervous breakdown and had to be put away,” Hana replied smoothly. “I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, which only compounded the abandonment issues I’d contracted as a result of my husband’s tragic demise on our wedding day only months earlier.”
“Ahaha,” said Mr. Kurosaki, nervously, and began shuffling around the papers on his desk.
“In spite of the heavy cocktail of psychotropics I was given, I managed to escape the institution,” Hana continued dreamily. “Firmly in the grip of my delusions, I wandered the streets, sleeping in the train station and begging for handouts.” Pause. “Of course, I still continued to look both stylish and appropriately mournful.”
“Of course,” Mr. Kurosaki replied weakly. “Next—“
But Hana was on a roll and would not be stopped. “One day, while performing heart-breaking yet melodic tunes for spare change from passers-by, a stranger recognizes me and stops. It’s Tohru-chan. She is horrified to see the depths to which one of her friends has sunk.”
At this revelation, Tohru leapt from her seat and bounded over, crying, “Oh, Hana-chan, I’m so upset to see you like this!”
Hana turned to face the now-weeping Tohru and took her hands. “You insist on taking me away from the train station, and bring me home to live with you. You and your husband welcome me into your home—“
Here, Kyou’s expression of horror gave way to one of anger. “We do not!” he shouted. “Like hell you’re gonna live with us—“ A zap sounded in his vicinity and he yelped, then fell silent, settling for glaring furiously at her.
“—and I become the nanny for your baby,” Hana continued seamlessly. “We now await its arrival eagerly. I’ve already begun decorating the nursery. In tasteful silks and laces-- of the purest black, of course-- the baby will thrive surrounded by—“
“Um, Hana-chan?” Tohru interrupted. Her tears had dried and she was now smiling, but tentatively. “I had been thinking of ducks for the nursery, actually.”
“…ducks?” Hana pondered that a moment. Then, “Can they be black ducks?”
“No!” Kyou howled. “You lunatic!”
Zap!
“Will you stop doing that?” he roared, face bright with frustration.
“No.”
“Grarrr!” With that incoherent expression of rage, Kyou stomped from the room, slamming the door so it rattled on its hinges.
Hana watched him go, then turned back to Tohru. She, too, seemed rattled by her “husband’s” dramatic exit, but rallied quickly.
“Black ducks are fine, Hana-chan!” she exclaimed cheerily.
And Hana was pleased.
Chapter 1 was here.
Blue Heaven, chapter 2
“And Baby Makes Three”
“And Baby Makes Three”
“Today,” announced Mr. Kurosaki, “we’re going to assign everyone a life-altering discovery, and then each couple is going to role-play how you deal with the issue.”
It was a month later, and so far Family Life had actually been kind of… fun. Tohru had swiftly learned that Kyou was far more pleasant to be around if they completed their assignments without anyone watching. At her request, Hana invited Uo and Yuki to do their homework at her house on a weekly basis, leaving only Shigure for Tohru and Kyou to deal with at home.
The first week they’d created a budget together, and the second, worked out which of the household chores would be done by whom. The third week had consisted of the two of them deciding if they could afford for Tohru to attend college part-time (the answer was yes, if they were careful with their money).
The fourth week, they had to deal with annoying neighbours. Since they lived with Shigure, that wasn’t much of a stretch. It was decided that Tohru would be the one to handle issues of diplomacy, with Kyou standing sentinel to make sure she wasn’t taken advantage of.
That was the first time they had role-played in the situation, Mr. Kurosaki portraying the part of the obnoxious neighbour with unseemly glee. They had done so well that he’d given them an A for that week.
In general, they were well-matched, strong where the other was weak, and so went forward into week five of Family Life without many misgivings. That all changed when Mr. Kurosaki announced that week’s assignment. He went around the room with a basket in his hands filled with slips of paper.
“Each couple will have a different problem to face and overcome,” he announced. “And this issue will be a long-term one, something you will have to incorporate into future weeks.” Something about the way he said it was ominous and Tohru made a quick wish that theirs wouldn’t be something too hideously awful.
The basket was thrust under their noses. “Your turn,” Mr. Kurosaki said, smiling down at them.
Kyou reached into it, only to have his hand smacked away.
“Ladies first!” the teacher sang, reminding them both rather strongly of Ayame. Kyou jerked back and Tohru hesitantly put her hand in the basket, as if afraid something in it would bite her.
She was able to withdraw a slip of paper without incident, however, and unfolded it. Her eyes flicked over what was written; immediately, she turned tomato-red.
“Oh,” she murmured, folding it back up with precise care.
“What is it?” he asked, curious. “What does it say happens to us this week?
She (somehow) blushed even harder and stared fixedly at her hands, mumbling something so quietly that even his keen hearing couldn’t pick it up. Sighing, he placed his hands on either side of her face and gently forced her to look at him.
“Tell me,” he insisted. “C’mon, how bad could it be?”
“I’m, er,” she began, lips trembling (in a particularly beguiling way to Kyou’s way of thinking). “I’m pregnant!” she blurted out suddenly.
The words didn’t compute in his head right away. At first, all he heard was the startled laughter of the others around them (Tohru had been rather loud). Then the words penetrated and he found himself struggling to draw air into his lungs, his hands dropping from Tohru’s head to hang limply by his sides. For her to be “pregnant”, they’d have had to—
“I’m sorry,” he gasped, the only thing he could say as the implications of it thudded into him. Now it was his turn to do a tomato impression; he went bright-red in two seconds flat.
But Tohru wasn’t looking very sorry; her embarrassment (and her colour) had started to fade and she was beginning to get excited.
“Hana! Uo!” she cried, “We’re going to have a baby!” The girls blinked, then grinned at her. "Oh, I love babies,” she said, turning back to Kyou. “This is wonderful! And here I was afraid we’d get something bad!”
Kyou still hadn’t spoken since his shocked apology, and Tohru’s happiness dimmed as she studied his face.
“Aren’t you—you’re not happy about this, are you,” she said dully, and stared down at where she twisted her fingers together. “Is it because you think I’d be a bad mother? Because I probably would be, the way I’m so clumsy all the time and always falling over but I’d try my best and—“
“No!” Kyou interrupted. “I was just—just surprised, is all. I never thought about being a father before, and then, you know, getting pregnant…” He looked away, staring determinedly out the window. “I was just surprised.”
Tohru had finally picked up on the more subtle aspects of what it meant to have a baby and soon her face matched his in embarrassment. “Let’s not think about that part,” she exclaimed, voice a bit shrill.
“I’m a boy,” Kyou snapped before he could help it. “It’s all I ever think about.”
Shocked, Tohru spun in her seat to face away from him. Is that true? she wondered. Boys only think about… that? Kyou always thinks about that? Does he think about it with me? Oh, Mom, I’m going to catch on fire, I’m blushing so hard… safe thoughts. I need to think safe thoughts…
She cast about desperately for a less dangerous topic of conversation and pounced on the first that popped into her mind with immense relief.
“You never thought about having children before?” she managed after a while, spinning back to face him. When he shook his head, she said, “I think Kyou-kun would be a wonderful father.”
He glanced at her quickly, then gave a short bark of laughter. It sounded harsh and bitter, not amused at all, and Tohru’s heart began that familiar ache she felt whenever she thought about how badly he’d been treated. “What, with my temper? And the way the rest of the family acts toward me? And… with what they want to do to me after I graduate?”
This last was said softly, for her ears only.
“No, I’d be a lousy father,” Kyou concluded, looking out the window once again. He clenched his hands into fists as a sense of loss for something he’d never known he wanted coursed through him.
Then her hands touched his, fingers prying his fists loose and folding around, twining with his own. “Kyou-kun would be a wonderful father,” Tohru repeated, very firmly, and nodded with great determination. “Just like he’s a wonderful friend and—and a wonderful husband.”
She was back to blushing furiously, but this time didn’t drop her eyes or fiddle with her skirt hem.
A wave of emotion rippled through Kyou. “How do you know that?” he demanded, voice a little rough.
She beamed up at him, squeezing his hands. “Mom always said that you can tell how a man is going to be with his kids by the way he acts with animals, and you’re very good to animals. And to me, and to Kasuma-sensei, and—“
“I’m horrible with anyone else, though,” he interrupted.
She only smiled wider. “But you’re great with people you love, and you’d love our baby very much, wouldn’t you? So it doesn’t matter if you’re not too nice to other people, as long as you’re good to the ones you love.”
Speechless, he could only stare down at her for the longest time. “You—“ he stopped, licked his lips nervously. “You’d be a good mother,” he said at last. “Really good. Your kid would be the luckiest kid ever.”
Her lips parted in pleased surprise, and she squeezed his hands again while bouncing happily. He gazed down at her, drinking in her wide blue eyes and upturned face until he felt he was brimming over with… something, some unnamed but powerful thing.
“Excellent!” proclaimed Mr. Kurosaki, appearing beside them. “We all have doubts as to how qualified we are to handle things like this, but as a married couple you have to support and encourage each other! An excellent role-play in how to deal with the sudden news of impending parenthood, don’t you all agree?”
He turned to gesture at their classmates, all of whom, they now realized, had watched them throughout the entire thing. Politely, they all began to clap their hands.
Hana watched them with satisfaction in her fathomless eyes; Yuki and Uo both appeared to be rather dumbfounded, and joined in the applause a moment after everyone else.
Kyou and Tohru immediately turned scarlet and leapt away from each other.
“So,” Mr. Kurosaki said, returning to the front of the room and motioning for them to take their seats, “as we can see, the major life disruption Mr. And Mrs. Sohma have to face is an unplanned pregnancy.” He grinned at their renewed blushing when he addressed them that way. “Let’s discuss how the rest of you did. The other Mr. And Mrs. Sohma—what catastrophe will you be enduring?”
Uo stood and answered for them. “I’ve contracted a serious illness and have had to be hospitalized.” At Tohru’s gasp of dismay, she flashed her friend a jaunty grin. “My ever-loving husband was more upset than I was at first, but I’ve calmed him down.” She paused for effect. “The sedatives help.” Her classmates tittered, and she sat.
It had been pretty funny, actually; when she’d unfolded the slip of paper revealing that—surprise!—she now had meningitis, the prince’s reaction had been quite dramatic. He’d paled, and stretched his hand across the desk to take hers.
“That’s horrible,” he’d said in his calm voice. “I’m so sorry.”
It had irritated her at first, how he was always so placid. Boring, she’d thought when she’d first come to know him through Tohru. Plus, with all those fangirls after him, she’d been sure he was stuck-up and arrogant. But he really wasn’t, and got along with everyone except that stupid cousin of his. Most importantly, he was good to Tohru, so Uo figured she’d let him live.
And now, after spending considerably more time with him in the past weeks, she’d come to find that voice of his soothing. Her nerves were always jangling all over the place so much that it was nice to feel them smooth out at the sound of him speaking. She also liked to see how seriously he was taking this pretend marriage thing.
If he approached a real relationship with half as much care and caution, Uo thought, he’d be a dream to be married to.
So far, his unfailing courtesy and kindness had made for a completely satisfactory joint project, much to her relief. If she’d had to pair up with Carrot-Top over there, she was 98% sure there’d have been bloodshed. And perhaps lengthy jail terms.
And so Uo had laughed, aware how it drew the attention of his fans, and patted his hand over hers with her other, free one. She flashed the now-glaring, furious fans a smirk before turning back to the prince.
“It’s not that big a deal,” she reminded him. “Only pretend, remember? And besides, special doctors cost. We’ve got that budget to remember. Regular ones are fine for me.”
Yuki-san’s spine seemed to snap to attention, his hand falling away from hers to his lap as his brows knit in consternation.
“Of course not,” he had replied, a note of steel in his voice. ”The Sohmas are very wealthy, and always given the best of care.” Then he bowed slightly. “It is my honour to provide the best of everything for you, Uotani-san.”
She blinked. “Well, damn!” she said with a laugh after a moment. “Cute, nice and rich! I might have to marry you for real!”
He had blushed faintly, looking away, and then Tohru had distracted them by shouting for all the world to hear of her impending bundle of joy.
And now the prince was rising to contribute toward their grade. “At first, Uotani-san didn’t want to take advantage of all the resources available to her as my wife, preferring to stay on-budget,” he said, “but I convinced her that her health was more important. So I think we’ve successfully navigated a potential disagreement as well, and made a reasoned decision concerning our expenses.”
Mr. Kurosaki blinked, assimilating all of those 50-yen words, and then nodded. “Good job. ‘A’ for you two this week.”
“Wow,” Uo whispered to the prince as they sat again, “you even manage to make something romantic sound like an accountant report. That takes skill.”
“I can be romantic, in the right time and place, Uotani-san.” He didn’t look at her as he said it, his gaze fixed on the teacher who was discussing the week’s issue with another couple, but there was an odd note in his voice that inexplicably had Uo’s cheeks pinking up.
“Yeah, right,” she grunted. When all else fails, get belligerent was her motto, after all.
“You’re skeptical.” One side of his mouth curled. “I’ll just have to prove it to you one day.”
Eyes wide, Uo was cut off from answering because it was Hana’s turn to report her own personal disaster.
“My house caught on fire,” she said, giving a tiny smile of reassurance at Tohru’s gasp. (“Oh, no! Not Hana-chan!”) “I lost everything.”
“I see,” said Mr. Kurosaki, pausing a moment before continuing with a sort of resignation, as if afraid to probe further. “And how have you handled it?”
“I had a nervous breakdown and had to be put away,” Hana replied smoothly. “I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, which only compounded the abandonment issues I’d contracted as a result of my husband’s tragic demise on our wedding day only months earlier.”
“Ahaha,” said Mr. Kurosaki, nervously, and began shuffling around the papers on his desk.
“In spite of the heavy cocktail of psychotropics I was given, I managed to escape the institution,” Hana continued dreamily. “Firmly in the grip of my delusions, I wandered the streets, sleeping in the train station and begging for handouts.” Pause. “Of course, I still continued to look both stylish and appropriately mournful.”
“Of course,” Mr. Kurosaki replied weakly. “Next—“
But Hana was on a roll and would not be stopped. “One day, while performing heart-breaking yet melodic tunes for spare change from passers-by, a stranger recognizes me and stops. It’s Tohru-chan. She is horrified to see the depths to which one of her friends has sunk.”
At this revelation, Tohru leapt from her seat and bounded over, crying, “Oh, Hana-chan, I’m so upset to see you like this!”
Hana turned to face the now-weeping Tohru and took her hands. “You insist on taking me away from the train station, and bring me home to live with you. You and your husband welcome me into your home—“
Here, Kyou’s expression of horror gave way to one of anger. “We do not!” he shouted. “Like hell you’re gonna live with us—“ A zap sounded in his vicinity and he yelped, then fell silent, settling for glaring furiously at her.
“—and I become the nanny for your baby,” Hana continued seamlessly. “We now await its arrival eagerly. I’ve already begun decorating the nursery. In tasteful silks and laces-- of the purest black, of course-- the baby will thrive surrounded by—“
“Um, Hana-chan?” Tohru interrupted. Her tears had dried and she was now smiling, but tentatively. “I had been thinking of ducks for the nursery, actually.”
“…ducks?” Hana pondered that a moment. Then, “Can they be black ducks?”
“No!” Kyou howled. “You lunatic!”
Zap!
“Will you stop doing that?” he roared, face bright with frustration.
“No.”
“Grarrr!” With that incoherent expression of rage, Kyou stomped from the room, slamming the door so it rattled on its hinges.
Hana watched him go, then turned back to Tohru. She, too, seemed rattled by her “husband’s” dramatic exit, but rallied quickly.
“Black ducks are fine, Hana-chan!” she exclaimed cheerily.
And Hana was pleased.
Chapter 3 is here.
